Definitely a struggle of mine. When coupled with the perception that Black women are to be strong and all powerful, it makes it really hard as an intellectual woman to say to a man she is interested in, talking to, or a in a relationship with- “hey, im feeling vulnerable right now and i need you to treat me softly, choose your words carefully, be my foundation today as i will be for you another day.’
my palms sweat, and my stomach flips just thinking about it. asking for what I want/need is a source of stress because it cuts a deep gash into the identity I am required to maintain but do not want and makes me feel like being human, i.e. wanting or needing something from others who should care for me, will make them turn me away in disgust.